What is embarrassment?
We have all had those royally embarrassing moments in life, where it feels like we can never recover from this incident. It's as though we think we get overlooked in all other aspects except those we fail at.
I've always found it strangely ironic how everyone can fixate on someone else's faults while we hate having the same done to us. Nevertheless, embarrassment doesn't need to be inflicted on you by a third person, rather more often than not, embarrassment is what we put ourselves through.
One could argue that getting embarrassed is just an instinct that can't be helped, but I would choose to disagree. In my opinion, the root cause of getting embarrassed is much deeper than we realize.
Are you judging yourself?
Some things that would embarrass me, for example, are; Being under or overdressed to a party, spilling something and making a mess in a public place, or, getting yelled at or lectured in front of my friends. To be honest, I still pray these things never happen to me, because like most others, I too can't avoid getting embarrassed.
Some things don't have a solution that makes them disappear with a snap of your fingers. Embarrassment is one of those things, which you completely can't escape. What you can do, is acknowledge that the feeling of embarrassment originates within you and, thus is in your control.
I think embarrassment is nothing but a form of judging yourself. We have it in our heads that everyone has their eyes on us all the time, just waiting for us to slip up so they can point and laugh. But if we undermine ourselves in our good moments and tell ourselves "No one cares", then why, all of a sudden do we feel like everyone cares when we mess up?
We have etched it into our heads that certain things will give people the opportunity to judge us, while in reality, we have decided to judge ourselves before anyone gets a chance to even try.
I can think of many instances, where I decided that I wasn't as good as others, before even giving myself a chance, and that's where I failed. Not in deciding my outfit, not by being clumsy, and not by being irresponsible, but I failed at not judging myself.
We have all felt the need to judge ourselves prematurely because we think it'll soften the blow when others do it. But we can see the bigger picture if only we stop focusing on the little smudge in the corner.
No one cares
After feeling embarrassed about almost everything, every day, all the time, for years, I decided that it was all a complete waste. Essentially I concluded that the more times I felt like I embarrassed myself so badly that it would stain my white canvas, the more starkly I began seeing that the feeling vanished within just a couple of days, without fail. And the more times I felt judged, I saw that no one was looking. Eventually, I concluded that no one cared, and the second I learned that, suddenly, I didn't care so much either.
So I wouldn't deny that I still do get embarrassed from time to time, but this fresh perspective really liberated me in the sense that I began living my life without giving other people the power to stain my canvas.
If we all adopt the simple attitude of "who cares!?", we give ourselves the freedom to be silly, and crazy and make memories by living life the way we want. Embarrassment is just another social misconception that stands as a barrier for us.
So to conclude,
here on, whenever you feel embarrassed and judged, try asking yourself the question "Who cares?", and you'll definitely soften the blow when you realize the answer is "No one". Because years from that moment, probably even days, no one will remember what you wore, or what you did and you yourself probably won't even remember half the things that made you feel flushed. Rather you will be left with a stack of memories, some goofy, some funny, some crazy, but each one with you being yourself
Refreshing perspective. ❤️